Never forgotten
by Saoirse's Republic
Summary: Neil/Andrea, another sob story, will probably be fairly short. Begins in chapter 1 with Andrea in the present day, all subsequent chapters are reflections/flashbacks on a tragic incident and the time around that incident.
1. Chapter 1

On a freezing cold January afternoon Andrea Dunbar stands outside the local primary school, a ten minute drive from her Sun Hill flat. She rubs her hands together furiously in an attempt to warm them, having left work in such a hurry she forgot to take her gloves. As the flurry of children begins to emerge from the school, racing towards parents, grandparents and child-minders there to pick them up, screaming, shouting and laughing as they go, Andrea scans the crowd for her own little girl. It isn't long before 5 year old Emma Manson comes running towards Andrea and launches herself into her mother's arms. Andrea bends down to kiss her daughter gently, stroking her hair and then taking Emma's hand in hers as they walk towards the car. Andrea can't help but smile as her little girl chatters away happily at her side about the school day and everything she did. Emma clambers into the car, still buzzing with excitement about the day's events as Andrea makes sure she is properly strapped into her booster seat. This is one of the things Andrea loves so much about being a mother, watching her child becoming acquainted with the world, every single day a new adventure to her, every new discovery she makes and everything she learns is treasured by her. To Emma the world is still a magical, wonderful place and Andrea intends to preserve that for her for as long as she possibly can.

Emma's narrative of the events of her day stops only when mother and daughter reach their flat.

"Ok sweetheart, you be a good girl for me now and get changed out of your uniform, then me and you are going to have a snack and cuddle up in front of the TV, how does that sound?" Andrea asks beaming at her daughter who mirrors her mother's huge grin and nods in agreement.

As Emma runs off to her room to change, Andrea heads to the kitchen and pours two glasses of orange juice and makes two bowls of fruit salad for them. Food is one of the things Andrea has always been strict on and while she does allow Emma the occasional treat, she prefers only to give her chocolate and crisps in moderation though she is well aware Emma's grandparents spoil her when she is with them. Nevertheless, Andrea's health consciousness has paid off and Emma loves fruit as much as she loves the rare chocolate treats.

Emma comes bounding back into the kitchen freshly changed, with her uniform in her hands ready for the wash. After putting on a load of washing Andrea joins Emma on the sofa, cuddling her close. As she snuggles close to her mother's body, Emma breaks into conversation, an important thought having suddenly entered her mind.

"Mummy," Emma begins gazing up at her mother.

"Yes sweetheart, what is it?" Andrea enquires, stroking her little girl's smooth, silky black hair.

"Are we going to go and see Daddy tomorrow?" Emma's huge chocolate brown eyes sparkle as she gazes into Andrea's own eyes. She is undeniably the image of her mother.

"Yes, yes we are going to see Daddy tomorrow darling we always go on Saturdays."

"Why do we not go to see Daddy every day Mummy?" the interrogation continues.

"Well, we used to go to see Daddy nearly every day when you were smaller, but we're so busy now and you are at school now, so we just can't visit Daddy every day anymore, see sweetheart?"

"Yeah, I suppose, but I miss Daddy," Emma responds dejectedly.

"I know that my love, so do I but he loves you so much you know, just as much as I love you," Andrea says softly trying to lift her daughter's mood.

"I painted him a picture today in school and I want to give it to him tomorrow can I show it to you now?" Emma's mood is suddenly uplifted as she gets excited again.

"Course you can sweetheart, go and get it, your school bag is out in the hall," Andrea replies just as enthusiastically, beaming at her daughter.

"Wow, its beautiful sweetheart," the astonishment in Andrea's tone is by no means fake, she is exceptionally proud of her little girl's work of art and like any mother she believes her child's work to be better than any other child's.

"That's me and you are holding my hand, and Daddy is standing beside us, and there is our house and that's where Daddy lives, do you think Daddy will like it?" Emma gazed at her mother expectantly. As she surveyed the mixture of images and bright colours of her daughter's prized painting, tears well up in Andrea's eyes but she quickly composes herself, not willing to let Emma see her get upset over Neil yet again. It is perfectly understandable that Andrea has these momentary lapses where even something as innocent as a picture made by her little girl can reopen the wounds which remain raw even after so much time has passed, after all Neil is the love of her life and Emma's father, he should be here now, they should be bringing up their daughter together. Despite her heartache, Andrea vowed a long time ago that she would not let it stop her little Emma having a happy life and that includes staying strong enough that she doesn't fall apart over every little thing.

"You know what Em? I think Daddy is going to love that," Andrea replies sincerely as she smiles affectionately at her daughter, and the pair resume their previous position cuddling up again on the sofa.

* * *

They leave their flat in the relative hush of the early morning, though this being London it is still busy even at 9am. The early start has not affected Emma whatsoever who as per usual is full of energy, though she isn't hyperactive or unmanageable simply bubbly and enthusiastic about spending the weekend with her mum.

"Mummy," Emma chirps from the back seat as Andrea negotiates a tight bend in the road.

"What is it sweetheart, you ok?" Andrea asks, peering in the rearview mirror to check on Emma.

"What are we doing after we've been to visit Daddy?" The question causes Andrea to smile, reminding her how simple the life of a five year old is, just moving from one day to the next wondering what exciting adventures you are going to have. Andrea is simply thankful that Emma does not yet have to deal with the complexities of life, or at least has not been as exposed to them and worn down by them as Andrea herself has. But Emma gives her a reason to put the pain to one side and deal with it in her own time, her little girl must always and will always come first.

"Well I thought as a special treat we could go into London to go ice skating, then afterwards we're going to have our lunch and go shopping,"

"Yeah," Emma cries, elated and her reaction makes Andrea chuckle.

When they reach their destination they pull up by the pavement. Andrea takes Emma's hand as she climbs out of the car, and the pair walk slowly together, Emma holding on to her precious picture as though her life depended on it and Andrea carrying a fresh bunch of white lilies in her free hand.

"I don't like this place where Daddy lives," Emma states solemnly, eyes wide and slightly clouded by forming tears. Andrea stops walking and crouches down to Emma's level, brushing away a few tears that have begun to fall.

"Oh my little sweetheart don't be sad, Daddy doesn't really live here, you know where he lives, it's the place you painted in your picture and it is far nicer than this place." Andrea envelopes her daughter in a comforting hug, attempting to reassure her. "Daddy lives in Heaven where the angels take care of him and he can't get hurt anymore. He's happy there sweetheart."

"Doesn't he miss us Mummy?"

"Of course he does my little one, every single day as much as we miss him but he watches over us and looks after us every single day. He loves us and he is so proud of you." After a few more minutes Andrea and Emma continue along the cemetery path and eventually come to stop in front of a smooth, shining granite headstone engraved with gold lettering. Compared to many of the other graves, Neil's was relatively new and was one of the best kept due mainly to Andrea's care and attention, though Neil's parents did as much as they were fit to do. It is simple, no flowery verses engraved on it, no ornate statues adorning it either, Neil would have hated that. It states simply that he was a beloved son, an adored husband and father and that his loss will be felt deeply by those who loved him. Those words do not even begin to do justice to the depth of love and devotion Neil and Andrea had for each other, or the extent of Neil's adoration for his baby daughter as Emma was at the time of Neil's death.

Andrea goes about removing the older, withering bunch of flowers from Neil's grave and replaces them with the fresh bunch of lilies she brought this morning. As she busies her self tidying round Neil's grave, Emma chatters away to Neil as if he were right beside her and she tells him everything about her week at school, the birthday party of one of her classmates she attended this week, her swimming lessons and the plans she has with her mother for the afternoon. Finally she leaves her family portrait on his grave, Andrea having had the foresight to place it in a plastic folder to protect it from rain damage. As mother and daughter kneel by the grave, Andrea's mind begins to wander as she contemplates the weeks leading up to Neil's tragic death and once again revisits in her mind the events which tore her life apart.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors notes: OK, I know Emma is five in the last chapter but I've factored in the time for the last few months of pregnancy and also the fact that in the previous chapter Emma is five years and so many months, so I decided that 6 years earlier for the start of Andrea's flashbacks/reminiscing, made more sense. Also I refered to her as Andrea Dunbar in the previous chapter despite the fact I wanted her to be Neil's wife/widow in this fic so lets just say she went back to her maiden name after Neil died.

* * *

6 years earlier

* * *

Neil Manson wearily made his way to the press office, making a beeline for the desk in the corner. He was supposed to be completing paper work, tying up the loose ends on this case but it had been a difficult one, emotionally more than anything else, and he desperately needs to see her, to unburden himself to Andrea and take comfort from her. They are in the habit of doing this, even at work some days work comes second. When they feel under pressure, are finding work tough or even just need to bitch about their colleagues Neil and Andrea immediately seek each other out regardless of what else is going on or what they should be doing, and go to each other to let off steam, even just to simply have the comfort of holding each other. It works for them, it helps keep them sane in a job where almost every day they are confronted with horrific crimes that are heart breaking beyond comprehension. Today has been one of those days for Neil where the case has really deeply affected him and he needs Andrea. Even knowing that in a matter of minutes he will be in her embrace begins to relieve some of the strain. Seeing Andrea dozing peacefully at her desk, one hand subconsciously resting on her bump goes even further towards lifting the burdens of a case fraught with emotion, and he begins to smile fondly at the image. Gently caressing her cheek, Neil slowly brings Andrea back to the land of the living before kissing her sweetly.

"Mmm how long was I asleep for?" Andrea mumbles, the effects of sleep still evident in her voice.

"Don't know," Neil replies gently still smiling lovingly at her "I only just got here, needed some comfort," he states softly.

Andrea stands from her chair and wraps her arms around Neil, as he mimics her actions and pulls her close, gently pressing kisses to the side of her head as he does so.

"Tough day?" Andrea whispers as she soothingly strokes his hair and gazes into his tired eyes so full of raw emotion, her own full of love and understanding.

"Its this case, child abuse it just really gets to me, and this is so severe…" Neil trails off, hesitant to explain the full extent of what is on his mind.

"Hey, its ok," Andrea soothes still holding Neil's gaze and cupping his cheek with her hand "I know it's a cliché but you really wouldn't be human if something like this didn't affect you sweetheart. You don't have to be the strong one all the time you know, just because everyone else expects you to hold the investigation together, be pragmatic and only focus on the practical elements, that doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to become emotionally invested in the case too."

Neil smiles at Andrea's words, she knows him so well that without him even having to utter a word she has already managed to identify one of the main issues that had been getting at him about this case. All his colleagues ever see when they look at him is this toughened exterior of a man completely unaffected by anything, so they never expect a case to get to him and even when it does Neil is generally left out of the support network they provide for each other. It makes the job so lonely and isolating, and before he had Andrea there was no one to open up to, to turn to for comfort and indeed no one to provide comfort for when they needed it. For those reasons amongst many others he is eternally grateful to have Andrea in his life.

"I know that my love," Neil speaks softly reveling in being in Andrea's comforting embrace, "but it's not just that. This job scares me so much some times, when I see what people are capable of doing to other human beings, to children especially, it makes me feel sick. It reminds me how fallible I am, how no matter how hard I try I'm not capable of completely protecting you from harm, or Jake who is so naïve and trusting no matter how many times I try to explain how dangerous the world is and how careful he needs to be." As Neil pours out his fears to the woman he loves he begins to feel the burdens of the day drifting away.

"And then there's this little one," Neil states referring to their unborn daughter, his tone full of adoration as he gently places a hand over Andrea's burgeoning bump. Andrea covers that hand with one of her own, fleetingly glancing down at their joined hands before returning her eyes to Neil's.

"She'll be fine darling," Andrea reassures smiling.

"It's just that she is so vulnerable, even more so than you or Jake and I just wish I could keep us all in this safe little bubble, in our own world where I can protect you, Jake and our baby girl and know that nobody can harm you. It terrifies me that I can't completely protect the three people I love most and who are most important to me, and it breaks my heart to think of anybody ever hurting you or Jake, or our baby girl." As Neil expresses his concerns and conveys the depth of his fears to Andrea, she pulls him close to her again, whispering comforting words to him, reminding him that he has only ever done the right thing by her and Jake, and that he has always protected them. It will be no different for their little girl, she knows this and encourages Neil to remember his abilities as a father to Jake and their baby and a husband to her, that his instincts have always enabled him to care for them better than anyone else possibly could. Neil knows Andrea is right and he takes comfort from her encouragement and her absolute faith in him. Having unburdened himself to Andrea, he definitely feels the weight lift from his shoulders.

"How have you been today anyway?" Neil enquires continuing to hold Andrea's body to his.

"Not too bad, just a little bit tired," Andrea replies, her slightly stifled yawn betraying the fact that this is an understatement. "This one kept me up half the night," Andrea smirks as she places her hand on her swollen stomach again.

"Have you been keeping your mummy awake again sweetheart?" Neil beams, directing his question towards the bump. "You know she's probably practicing for when she actually arrives don't you, keeping you up all night for months on end," Neil teases.

"Hmm, well in that case she can find some way of practicing keeping you awake too because unless I'm mistaken we're in this together Neil Manson," Andrea continues their affectionate teasing. "All I want to do is go home and curl up with you on the sofa tonight, and forget about press releases and housework."

"Then why don't we? It's my turn to cook tonight anyway, or we could even pick something up on the way home from the ante-natal class and just relax in front of the television, or I could run us a bath and we could have an early night." Now the roles are reversed, Andrea needs Neil to offer her support and she is grateful for his thoughtfulness, snuggling closer to him.

"Sounds perfect," she states simply as Neil kisses her forehead softly.

"I love you Andrea Manson," he affirms with a radiant smile whilst delicately stroking her face.

"Love you too," comes Andrea's contented reply as she allows Neil to guide her out of the office and take her home.


End file.
